Yesterday night, I was watching Rozen Maid, an anime about dolls fighting to be the perfect doll, Alice in order to please their Father, the Doll master. Dolls were created with love and warmth yet at the same time dolls were smashed due to imperfection and the change of human heart.

Then this verse struck my head, a verse from Numbers that Keyi share with me while we are reading Genesis chapter 7 & 8 about Noah ark's & God promise.

God is not a man, that he should lie,
nor a son of man, that he should
change his mind
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfilled?
Numbers 23: 19

While humans' hearts change as time goes, god stay firm and faithful for eternal. Thinking a back, how many hobbies have we gave up as time goes by from stickers, shells to comic and doll? Our heart flickered, we sell or throw off things that we holds dearly and get new thing on impulse.. if that Human nature, I'm really grief because how can i promise God that I will be faithful to him for as long as i live? How can I not be flickered by the numeruous influences in the world?

it was by God's grace that we are saved.. then how much grace have i wasted?

Been quite a while since i got back home.
Some things remains unchanged while some things changes along with time.

Looking at my dad, it tell me that time don't wait...
Just 2 months ago, My dad fainted while he was working.
After several sample analysis, the doctor say that he was diagnosed with cirrhosis, a malfunction of the liver.

The first day I went to the hospital to see him, he was just the same, just that his feets are more swollen.

After a few days stay in the hospital, he was discharged and was instructed to take a few days off to rest at home. These few days of leave, he was only able to eat food that are easy digest and not forgetting to take a few type of medicine that cannot be bought in the pharmacy. Hence his weight drastically dropped by 10 kg where the previous rounded belly is now flatten..

Though there is not cure to it but with life time medication and healthy diet, he should be alright. However the one "monthly medication check up" cost up to hundreds over dollar, just the scope alone cost around $300 over.. Seriously i'm wondering is hospital trying to save people or are they trying to kill people financially!
[it ridiculous to know that medisave can be used only when you stayed in the hospital! So what kind of financial assistance does it provide? if the patient is on life time medication and examination and the only time they will be staying in hospital is when they need operation or is critically ill.]

Due to oversea trip that my parents and grandma are going, I was called back home. So once again I saw my dad... he have aged alot, i saw signs of old age marking [brown patches] on his face and hands and how thin he was since i last saw him...

My dad is 50 this year, thinking about it, I felt abit useless of me being a poly student and still depending on parent's money. All these years my dad has been working as a charge man [sth related to metal construction] to feed the family. All these hard work, I really thanks him for bringing us up in my heart.

So I decide to get a better job in the future when I finished my study to lighten the burden of the family.

Fatherly Lord in heaven, may you bless my family with good heath and help my dad to lighten his burden in his life.

Being born in a taoism-budhism family, we are some what against christianity.
It's probably god's will that i am exposure to Christianity, not once but thrice in my life.
In the 2nd semster of year one, I was approached by the Navigator's sisters. They were sharing with me what is Christianity and Sins all about...

Seriously speaking, I find no harm in reading the bible when one of the sisters asked me if I wish to continue to know gods.. So with that I started to reading the bible with the Sister.

It's almost a year, but I' m yet to be a christian as I felt that my faith for god is very vague.

I have read the gospels such as John, Mattew, Roman with the Sister and roughly understood how jesus came and die for our sins and then he resurrected. However recently we started reading the first phrase of the bible- the Genesis (Chapter 1-3)... I doubted God again. I felt that everything was planned from the start and that God knows what going to happen, yet did not do anything to prevent it..

Though Sisters say it's about Gods granting us freedom to choose otherwise life would be meaningless...

Then came another question: It is stated that Death is the retribution for our Sins. Then why do we still face death when Christ had died for our sin?

Fatherly Lord in heaven, please grant me wisdom to understand as i continue
to read your word(the Genesis)

In WISP (World Issue: Singapore Prospective) class, I was taught about stereotype, prejudience and discrimination. As I was searching for some source of discrimination, I came across the lyrics of the song title: Where is the love?" by Black Eyed Pea.

The song was a hit some years back and it depicts what our world have became...
Click here to view the lyric http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blackeyedpeas/whereisthelove.html

Below are some verse that I quoted from lyric.

"if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love"

After reading the lyric, I gave some thoughts to it:
Quiet time is a time where many sisters sat down together to read and share the bible. Oftenly, I will ponder over this verse in the bible that states: For God love us so much that he sent his one and only son... to save the condemn world. Then for what good reason did God have to forsake the people who are sufferings? People are killed because of differences, young child are force to face their tragedy fate. (especially those who are in Africa, there is no escape plan for them)

I mean seriously, where is the love? why are people killing?
Did their brains went wrong?
We are all human in the same world yet we are fight? We are just doing the wrong thing.

so...JUST WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD!?